I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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