I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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