Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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