she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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