smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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