Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize