And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize