I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
