please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
