All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
