she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
