I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I take back everything I said about communal showers
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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