My nipple is on Facebook.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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