some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
