I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize