so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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