i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
