She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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