I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
