you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
