I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize