I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think a kid would responsible me up
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
