i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize