dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
