It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
