never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
