He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
