Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
