Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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