I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
