Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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