i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
