So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
