I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
