He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
