I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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