she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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