Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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