He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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