Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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