Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
