your parents love me but you hate me
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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