if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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