Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize