If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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