My cat gives me a boner
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
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