Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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