what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
