see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
