Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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