i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
