OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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