just come out here and I will go home with you...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
