nut hugger
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
