The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think people are normalizing furries
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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