I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
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