my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
