sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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