If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
